let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
