yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
