there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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