I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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