i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
