hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
