We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
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