I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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