All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
