We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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