I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
