I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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