question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
