I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
