Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
