How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
