Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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