Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am available for nakedness
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
