a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
