So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
