yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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