i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
