There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
