and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
