they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Never underestimate the power of titties
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