There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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