I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
