i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
