google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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