so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
