so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
