I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Text me some of your sweat
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
