I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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