Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
