um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
