You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hotel room ftw
why didn't you poke me back
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
