My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
