If i come over, it means nothing
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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