he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
