I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just high enough for therapy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
