mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
