Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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