Already got asked if we're dating
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
