The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
