It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
