She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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