Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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