hell yes lets make some ravioli
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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