We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
