When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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