If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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