in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
