if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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