Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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